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Time For Bed: A Monologue
Time for bed! I said, time for bed! I’m sorry you don’t want to, but it’s time. Please put your shoes and socks where they belong. Both shoes. All the socks. Well, they certainly aren’t mine. Go...
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Have We Traded Empathy for Efficiency?
Standing in the doorway to my garage on Christmas Eve was like staring into the aisles of Toys R Us. To a casual observer, we were an episode of ‘Hoarders’ waiting to happen. 10 minutes later I sat...
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My kids are a couple of TALKBLOCKERS!
There’s a language that exists among mothers that desperately needs to be studied by both linguists and social archaeologists. I believe it could be the basis of a cultural revolution of epic...
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Street Smart vs. Book Smart
Sometimes I worry about my kids. I don’t mean “worry” in the traditional sense. It’s not so much the everyday worries like “There are evil people in the world” or “What if my kid gets sick or...
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Why I Allow My Son to Listen to Eminem
No one in my immediate family has ever been divorced. To my knowledge, there has never been anyone with a drug or alcohol problem. Following the loss my 37-year-old cousin who bravely fought...
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How to Parent Without Using Words
Men speak approximately 7,000 words per day.* Women speak approximately 20,000 words per day.* Mothers speak 2,846,325 words per day… ** and most of them are the same phrases repeated over and over...
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The Awkward Conversations Aren’t Always with Your Kids
I used to think a “good mom” always responded with mama-bear-like ferocity when she learned her cub had been injured- physically or emotionally. Twelve years of motherhood had taught me differently....
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My kids didn’t choose me… and that’s OK.
My reaction to kid/parenting videos like these evolves in 3 phases. Phase 1: The Ugly Cry. (Tears streaming and snot dribbling included.) Phase 2: The irrational fear that I am a terrible parent...
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How to be a Successful Parent Like Me
Many literary experts agree there are approximately seven plot lines in existence. Every story, no matter the setting, characters, climax, or resolution, is simply a variation of one of these seven...
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Mom Used to Say Monday: Stop telling me everything…
Growing up, my mom and I weren’t what you’d call “close.” Who am I kidding… we didn’t’ get a long at all… AT ALL. I knew with complete certainty that she loved me. And I was just as certain she didn’t...
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